The next step in this journey

Meeting of the great minds today, oncologists, palliative, general, etc.  They have switched her to oral dilaudid to see how she tolerates it. Lymphedema caused by diffuse carcinomatosis.  Yesterday I had to look at my notes app on my phone to tell people what it was.  It is now burned into my memory forever, like my social security number.  Tomorrow will likely be an organizational day, and then Wednesday we get her home and start hospice care.

Aside from trying an oral hormonal type drug she was on before, there's nothing left.  Avastin is completely off the table.  We were sacked before we threw the hail mary.  We don't even know if that oral drug will be available after the switch to hospice - it may not be.  At any rate, it's like trying to put out a house fire with a thimble.

I asked how long she has after we get her home.  The response was "We don't know.  We suck so bad at guessing we don't do it.  Especially with someone as young as her."  So it could be a week, a month, three months, who knows.  What we do know is the care switches from treating the disease to treating symptoms for comfort.  There will be no more attempts to eradicate the advancement of the tumors, not that there any left anyway.

How I feel and how today went will be later.  Theres a few people visiting me as Billy Jo sleeps.