Additional "I don't know what to call this" post
It's 2am. I am back from Sue's house, where I had to tell Taylor the situation as it stands right now. She took it better than I expected. I am very proud of the young adult she is becoming. I'm sure things will get bad at times, but I expect that will happen to many of us as well. Sue drove the two of us back to the hospital. I'm on my usual couch-bed, and Taylor is snuggling with Billy Jo. Billy Jo stayed up long enough to talk a bit. Taylor is asking her for more advice. So I'm typing, and Billy Jo is giving her life lessons. She just got more pain meds, and it's late, but she was up a good 10 minutes giving one of those talks our niece is sure to remember forever. Taylor loves Billy Jo so much and looks to her for so much advice that this pains me something fierce. Taylor doesn't have any real experience with death, and the first time she will, it's likely going to be one of the, if not the most, important people in her life. A person who, as long as Taylor has been on this earth, has been battling cancer. She has never known her aunt to be anything else than fighting cancer, and "winning". It's easy to see why she might think that, a few weeks shy of becoming 18 and an adult, that this would continue for another 30-40 years.
I finally shoved a few chicken mcnuggets down my throat on the way here, just so there's something in my stomach. I still want to throw them up. How I am going to sleep tonight is beyond me, but I am drained, so I hope it is a recharge. It certainly will not be restful.
That's all for now. Much love to you all.