No Sh!t becomes Oh Sh!t

{WARNING: poop (or lack thereof) talk lies ahead}

Well, we had an unscheduled visit from the hospice nurse today. Billy Jo has been in pain much of the day. She feels like she has to poop and it won't come out. It was close, as the toilet paper was showing, but it would not come out. It was causing her quite a bit of pain, enough to hit the pain button several times today, something she almost never does (as you know by now). So we called the hospice center and the nurse came over. They tried several things and ultimately ended up trying an enema which was very painful to her, followed by a suppository, which hasn't done a thing so far. A very little amount came out during the enema but not enough to cause total relief. They also had her take extra xanax to try and alleviate the pain as well. The nurse said it's likely that she just doesn't have the strength to get it out on her own.

Needless to say, this took a toll on her today, and she's basically been sleeping since before 5pm. She's been awake here and there since then but is really wiped out. She wanted me to make sure I put all this in the update so everyone knows what is going on, and how there's good days and bad days.

Earlier in the day, the massage therapist from hospice came and discovered that she's having some back spasms right across the sciatic nerve causing her pain at some points down her hip and leg. Nothing new, right? The tumor in 2007-08 was growing right on it so of course there's sciatic pain, right? Well that is true, but this is now the right side, not the left. When it acts up on her the therapist told her to wake me and I can apply pressure with my hand which can alleviate the spasm.

She just can't catch a fucking break.

I hope tomorrow is better. I expect her to sleep until 3 when Erin the social worker comes. She needs it, and I won't be back from the airport with Auntie Julie until about 8:30-9:00, usually past her bedtime. I know there's no way she's going to sleep that early tomorrow, so I hope she takes it easy and rests all day.

As for me - I'm hanging in here. I did some more work today. The tired feeling never goes away. I lost another five pounds since weighing myself a month ago. Don't worry - I still have plenty to spare. I'm still eating - just not as much. I don't really have an appetite for much, so I eat out of necessity, not pleasure.

As I was wrapping this post up, a beast was released. We are so thankful the nurse said to keep the bedside commode next to the bed, as she *almost* made it to that. No way in hell would she have made it to the toilet with as little "damage" as there was. The result in the commode was without a doubt the biggest poop she's had in two months. She feels some relief but she's in a lot of pain from getting it out - stomach all the way down. She's shaky and nauseous so I gave her a Zofran. She looks like she's gone 15 rounds in the ring today.

That's all for today. A lot more than you expected, I bet. There's no such thing as "TMI" here.