Not as exciting as buying a car.
So Billy Jo's pain is under control. She has barely hit the button for extra pain meds. This is a good thing. She is uncomfortable from the pressure in her abdomen, but says it's not painful - just "odd".
I woke her at 9am for some meds and she stayed up. I asked her if she was up to doing our "Precious Impressions" hand mold. She told me she was thinking the same thing. Great minds and all that. So we got that done, and we'll see in the morning how it turned out.
While waiting for the hospice nurse to make her visit, I cautiously asked what Billy Jo thought of going to the funeral home to get everything in order. I wasn't sure if it would hurt her, offend her, or depress her - but I thought I'd throw it out there. I mean, this way I guarantee all her wishes regarding her funeral and I also don't have to worry about all these things and choices after she has passed. It will be much easier for me during the difficult time after her passing. Great minds.... she said she was very happy that I asked her and very happy that we could do this together.
It was an oddly therapeutic experience. We met with Mike, the funeral home representative, around 1:30 this afternoon. Mike is a young guy, which helped tremendously. This wasn't some old ghoul who would have a eerie organ sound after every completed sentence. The apologies and sympathies were out of the way quickly and it really became a pleasant, upbeat experience. We actually joked about some things along the way. He made us feel really comfortable. It was like having dinner with a friend, or like buying a car from a salesman who isn't a slimeball.
We had plenty of choices to make... coffin style, what newspapers to put the obituary in, what flowers to pick, what the memorial cards will look like, etc. etc. Quite a bit to go over. One of the joking moments - when given the choice of three caskets, I asked Billy Jo which one she liked the best. She replied, "you pick it - you have to look at it for eight hours." As it was, the one I chose is the one she would have chosen as well. Great minds...
The only things left to do are to get the photo and the wording for the memorial card, and to finish the obituary.
The great thing about such a shitty situation is that we got to do this together. Not everyone gets this opportunity. It also truly bookends our relationship - planning a wedding together on one end, and a funeral together on the other. We're grateful we were able to do it.