Pedal Another Mile

Bicycling, death, life after death.

She made me do it

I'm home.

Her nausea is under control, her pain level is getting there. The pressure from the swelling is starting to make her back hurt. They are giving her methadone and dilaudid more often now. There is talk of getting her a CADD - which is basically a fanny pack full of IV painkillers that would go through her port. This will give her more leveled relief and no need to wake me or her up for pain management. It will also give her a button to press for breakthrough pain. We will learn more about that as well as any possibility of a draining procedure for the abdomen swelling.

She told me to go home and get real sleep for a night. I was up every 2.5 to 3 hours making sure she got pain meds last night so she didn't wake up a 10 on the pain scale. I'm exhausted. The dilaudid makes her sleep a lot and now she's getting more of it. I'm much closer than when she was at the hospital (10-15 minutes). "You're going home to take Wrigley there anyway. Why not just stay and get some sleep?"

I caved in and agreed to it pretty quickly.

I told her I'm only doing this for tonight- if she's staying tomorrow night then so am I.

I plan on getting back there before 8am so I don't miss any doctors. As for tonight - I'm going to sleep within the hour, and I hope I don't wake up until the alarm goes off at 6:30.

A little more about Wrigley... I am pretty sure she's known something was up since Tuesday. Most of the times Billy Jo left the room Wrigley would start shaking like a Chihuahua for 15 minutes. Yesterday she jumped on Billy's lap and wouldn't stop shaking. I had to take her for a walk to clear her mind. A walk that found us three blocks from home when it started pouring. Yeah, it's been that sort of weekend.