Strange day...Thankful night.
I keep waiting for it to happen... for me to break down at a glimpse of something. I've been waiting all day. It hasn't happened. It will, but apparently not today.
Granted, I've been very very busy. Most of the day I worked on the financial stuff - filling out forms, etc.
Then I called Eternal Reefs to see how deep Billy Jo's reef ball will be in the ocean - 60 to 65 feet. Apparently that's doable if I decide to get certification. We'll see. I am definitely in no rush. They said fish move in right away but it takes a few years for the coral to grow.
Speaking of Billy Jo - she's back home with me. I picked her up this evening. I also went to the post office. I donated all her toiletries (shampoos and all that jazz) and unopened food left over from the wake to the Hospice Home. I went to Goodwill with a trunk full of stuff. I went shopping for a few things I need and then... I went to a wake. You may ask how on earth I found the strength after the past two days to attend a wake, of all things?
Easy. The wake was for Timmy, the 11 year old nephew of our friend. The one that was suffering and I believe Billy Jo helped to let go. I chatted with the family, looked at all the pictures, and then had a talk with Timmy - saying that I hoped he was running his ass off for the first time and that Billy Jo was able to keep up, pain-free. I thanked him for being the kid who gave me one last glimpse of "something still there" in the body that was my wife, who laid in bed for four days with no reaction whatsoever until I mentioned his name, and then she moved her eye.
Rest in peace Timmy - you deserve it, kid :)