Sleepless night, number 213

Things took another turn at 11:00pm last night. There was a marked change in her breathing pattern.

It lasted throughout the night, so sleep for her mom and I was impossible.

By 6am much of her skin was covered by mottling. Nurse took a guess that she'd pass before 3pm. The doctor came in a little while later and said it could be 24-48 more hours but she's been tough so who knows.

Her mom and a few friends have been here all day. I broke. Not down in tears but just totally broke down emotionally. I put on a hoodie and became a turtle going into its shell. Headphones, music, hood up, fetal position, couch. Slept most of the day, hoping that when I stuck my head out from under the covers that this was all over. 

It's not. It's 3:30pm, the mottling is gone (we are told it comes and goes due to fever masking it). She's had a fever above 102 degrees since 9am. Her breathing is more labored than this morning. Her pulse and BP remain good. 

I'm going to ask that visits stop at this point. I really want her to pass tonight and a large group of people making last visits may cause her to stick around even longer. I thank you for your understanding - I am not here alone, so don't worry about that.

I will post another update later.