Leveling off

OK, the nurses and doctor got the pain under control. It's down to a 5, and we've barely pressed the button. Continuous dilaudid IV is 5MG/hr up from 3. Button pushes are still 2MG. She is now taking Ativan (liquid) as well.

She was awake and mostly alert until a little while ago. She'll be asleep soon.

We have the sponge sticks which are helping her get moisture. If pills become too hard to swallow, they're all crushable and can be mixed in small bites of pudding.

Patty the massage therapist came today as well. I think that helped too. She has to be very gentle though - the tumors and nerve endings are so near the surface that any pressure at all causes pain.

I'm still quite anxious and scared. Every minute she suffers I suffer. Today was not fun. I am exhausted. Having to deal with some unrelated bullshit tonight didn't help my anxiety or energy levels one bit.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

I am thankful that today Billy Jo's pain was finally wrestled down to a "manageable" level.

I am thankful that her mom is staying here tonight. Billy Jo wants to sleep with her momma and sleep with her momma she will. I will try and shut off my brain and get some rest (except for 1am meds time).

I am thankful for all the help, well wishes, prayers, food, and support that so many of you have given us during these difficult times.

I am thankful so many people care about Billy Jo and I that they visit here every day.

We have no plans tomorrow - it's just another day, but a day that I hope I can be thankful was "nothing like the shitstorm that Wednesday" was.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.